Two weeks ago, I talked about memento mori, but how do we adjust to the reality of impermanence? We are all subjects interacting in a world of objects. These objects and their significance can change overtime. Take for example my childhood stuffed animal. I took it everywhere; I slept with it every night. It had a deep meaning for me from an early age to somewhere around eight or nine. In my office, I see changes in relationships, experiences and all sorts of circumstances change in people’s lives. Truly, nothing stays the same. In my ongoing discussion around change during this year’s spooky season, leading up to the day of the Dead and All Saint’s Day, I want to not only focus on impermanence but our own existential struggles.
Impermanence is an Ancient Awareness
You will find some sort of discussion around the impermanence of life throughout the ancient literature, from the Greeks to Jesus. Let’s look at a few.
The early Presocratics, Parmenides and Heraclitus challenged society by calling in question the nature of matter. Heraclitus is most famous for his observation, “no man stands in the same river twice.” Parmenides challenges us by challenging our notion of being. In sum, are we are either in a process of becoming as Heraclitus posits or are we in the process of being as posited by Parmenides. Plato after being presented with both the philosophy of flux (Heraclitus) and the philosophy of stasis (Parmenides), Plato then claims that they are, in fact, not mutually exclusive at all. If according to Parmenides everything has an innate and immutable essence, and according to Heraclitus all things are subject to constant change, we may conclude that the immutable essence of all things is change itself. Change was indeed understood as part of life for these early philosophers.
The Indic traditions of Buddhism and Hinduism is where many people associate impermanence with. In Buddhism, impermanence is known as anicca and anitya In Hinduism, the impermanence of existence signifies that everything is fleeting and mutable. This concept emphasizes the transient nature of life, often reflected through dreams, highlighting the ever-changing reality we experience. The Impermanence of existence in Buddhism signifies the understanding that life is transient, which aids individuals, including the Sugata, in achieving liberation from the cycle of existence. This awareness fosters a profound acceptance of life’s fleeting nature.
If we move ahead in history and come to my tradition of Christianity, we can find several sources in the bible that discuss the notion of impermanence. While we don’t often think of it. The two previous traditions discussed would have been known through oral traditions for the authors and prophets of the Old and New Testaments. For example, we know that the Stoic Seneca lived at the same time as Paul. Jesus more than likely would have been aware of Seneca’s work.
Impermanence in the Christian tradition relies heavily on the knowledge that our desire for happiness is designed by God, and so is our desire for permanence. They are not evil. We are designed to be satisfied with the one eternal (permanent) God. Evil is when we believe that God will not provide for us and therefore pursue happiness in something else.
Existential Angst – Why it is a Good Thing
Let’s face it, getting older sucks. Getting older brings an awareness and understanding of things that you were once naive to. Life was simpler when it was Captain Crunch and cartoons. Existential awareness is a problem that I deal with every day. Because my theoretical orientation revolves around Erickson’s stages of growth, I am acutely aware of the changes one goes through during their teen years through their midlife experiences.
We become aware of existential anxiety through the philosophy of Existentialism. Followers of this philosophical view look deeply at meaning and purpose. For these thinkers, an existential crisis is considered a journey, an awareness, a necessary experience, and a complex phenomenon. It arises from an awareness of your own freedoms and how life will end for you one day. These moments of crisis can arise when we experience transitions in our lives. In my practice, I teach my clients about the idea of bookending over a midlife crisis. Bookending is the year before and the year of hitting a new decade of life. This is the time many feel this type of angst.
Many people who come to me are very anxious and out of sorts when these moments occur. Certainly, there are moments of pathological anxiety that requires one to utilize medications, but sometimes simple education, exploration and action planning is all most people need when existential angst occurs.
I want to reflect on something I have been teaching my students, it’s the concept of the Security Blanket Paradox:
“We as humans are very prone to suffer from a psychological predicament we might call “the security blanket paradox.” We know the world is full of hazards and like passengers after a shipwreck, we tend to latch on to something for a sense of safety.”
In the process of working through our angst around change, we must not as the Security Blanket Paradox suggests cling to our sometimes imagined sense of security. We must as Camus offers, lean into the absurdity that change sometimes brings.
Angst is a good thing because it is a signal we are alive, and we are thinking deeply about the world around us and our sense of self in that world. It is a signal that while frightening at times, is an announcement that we need to begin to think deeply and that it may be time to change.
Spiritual Practices to Help Us Manage Existential Angst
I teach a lot of mindful awareness to my clients and have had to work through a lot myself. Getting older is a weird process. I remember being 22, the same age my daughter is right now. I remember joining the Army thirty-one years ago. Both are sometime hard to put my mind around. Where did time go?
The process of change, getting older or loss requires one to move through a process of grief and eventually arrive at place of acceptance. The reality here though is that this arrival of acceptance is transient and it too changes. Cultivating an openness to the mystery deepens our awareness and cherishing the unkowns around change.
Finally, cultivating an attitude of grace and love softens our hearts and prepares us for process of change.
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