Does religious faith have a valid role to play in helping people on their cancer journeys? We have two different answers today over on my Blood Cancer Uncensored website:
My Religious Sceptic friend Maggie
As an ex-convent boarding school child I was brainwashed! 60 years on I realise that the regime was destructive, abusive bullying and cruel. My beliefs at the time was it was abnormal to live away from my parents and that what I experienced was all too common. It created huge attachment disorders. The truth is now out there- religious orders and churches were a breeding ground for systematic abuse. We were led to believe God watched over us with an iron rod and to step outside the guidelines were tantamount to hell and damnation. A regime of fear.
For God I have replaced existential living- going with the flow and being accountable primarily to myself with respect for my fellow human beings . But also developing a nurturing relationship with family, friends, clients and colleagues. Kindness and compassion is my mantra. Spirituality Loving kindness – there is no place for that mythical figure supposedly there to make me toe the line . . . I live by the code of do no wrong to others. i believe in self advocacy and living an open, authentic and honest life, I am not perfect because I am, by its nature, human. But I urge people to take a step back and reflect on why god is so necessary in the big scheme of things? Is it a safety net to deal with the eventuality of our own mortality? Or a get out of jail card offering an escape route when we do wrong? False comfort . . .
I have reached an acceptance and calm. I am not frightened of dying just the process. I want to die with dignity, quickly, at home. No fuss, no medical intervention when it’s an inevitable event. Maybe assisted dying if it is possible at home. No angels no sentimental gestures just an acceptance that my life has been worth living. Meanwhile I am living much more mindfully, enjoying the small things, sunshine, nature, my friends and in the moment. Am not worrying about my future but it’s quite surreal imagining I will no longer be. That is a complete revelation to me. I thought I was invincible and immortal. Yet my situation is100 percent better than the poor souls who through no fault of their own are dying and maimed as a result of conflict and war and who are made homeless by acts of unimaginable cruelty. If there is was a god or they would not allow it. READ THE REST
Adrian’s Reply
Faith has been the lifeline that kept me going these last seven and a half years of struggling with blood cancer and its consequences in my body, and every area of my life.
As my life seemed to be burning down around me, there were times when I questioned God. Times when I asked whether if he existed how could he be good and kind, as I would not allow my own child to go through the suffering you see around you. Times when I felt God had stopped answering my prayers.
I have spoken to many like my friend Maggy who have concluded that we are better off without faith. Some say that acknowledging there is no higher being, no greater purpose, no enduring hope beyond death, is simply facing facts and allows us to handle what life brings in a better way. And when you read Maggie’s article about how she was raised in a convent boarding school, and how God was portrayed to her in that environment, to be honest I am not surprised she rejected that God. I reject that portrayal of God too! The abuse carried out in the name of religion is shameful, deplorable and to be utterly rejected and must be dealt with much better than it has been in the past. But with all respect to the genuine pain that all that causes, the fact that there is such a thing as counterfeit money does not lead us to reject all money as being evil. I believe we must be similarly careful with what we accept and reject in regard to religion too.
I do believe in a God of goodness and holiness, but he is also a God of love, compassion, and forgiveness. It is sad that so many see him as some kind of cruel headmaster in the sky, when in reality he stepped into our pain as a baby at Christmas as we all celebrated a month ago now. God on earth, Jesus weeping for our suffering, being alongside us in our pain. That is the image I prefer. And to be honest I came to the conclusion a long time ago that if we decide to reject God, and conclude he does not exist this does nothing to aleviatae our pain and suffering, but does take away the eternal hope of a life beyond this world that gives so many believer’s comfort. READ THE REST
Read More from Adrian Warnock
Compassion fatigue, the Saviour complex, and Benevolent detachment
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