In a world where anger and anxiety are taking center stage, the practice of lament offers a profound and healing alternative. By providing a structured outlet for sorrow and grief, lament allows individuals to process their emotions in a meaningful way, fostering resilience, hope, and inner peace. Embracing lament can transform our approach to emotional challenges, guiding us towards a more balanced and compassionate existence.
In the complex tapestry of human emotions, anger and anxiety often dominate, casting shadows over our well-being and relationships. These emotions, while natural, can lead to destructive patterns if left unchecked. Amidst these turbulent feelings, the ancient practice of lament offers a poignant and transformative alternative. Lament, deeply rooted in various cultural and religious traditions, allows individuals to express their sorrow and grief in a structured, meaningful way, paving a path towards healing and peace.
Understanding Lament
Lament is more than mere expression of grief; it is a profound act of vocalizing pain and seeking solace. Historically, lament has been a cornerstone in many cultures, from biblical psalms to traditional mourning songs. It involves an honest acknowledgment of suffering, a cry for help, and often, a plea for justice or understanding. Unlike anger, which can be outwardly aggressive, or anxiety, which is inwardly consuming, lament provides a balanced outlet for emotional turmoil. Lament as I noted in my previous article is an active experience, Lament “is not a static event that is done alone in silence. It is instead a community event.” For me, I lean into trust. Trust then is a secondary practice that also needs to be cultivated in these times. I choose as a follower of Jesus to believe that God is right with us, to let the sting of grief, be painful as long as it needs to be and to trust that whatever OK is for the next moment is the okay that needed to be present in the next moment”
The Structure of Lament
Lament typically follows a structured format, which can vary across different traditions. Generally, it includes:
- Invocation: Calling upon a higher power or the universe.
- Complaint: Articulating the pain, injustice, or sorrow being experienced.
- Petition: Requesting intervention, relief, or understanding.
- Expression of Trust: Affirming faith in a higher power or in the possibility of resolution.
- Praise: Offering gratitude or praise, often despite the ongoing pain.
Anger and Anxiety: Emotional Responses Explored
To appreciate the role of lament, it is essential to understand the nature of anger and anxiety. Both emotions serve as responses to perceived threats or injustices but manifest differently.
Anger
Anger is powerful emotion that for many who have not been raised in a home with deep emotional intimacy acts as a primary emotion. Anger often masks true feelings of shame, disappointment, embarrassment and others, even happiness. Not dealt with, anger can move one from simply experiencing mental anguish to physical maladies like hypertension and heart disease.
Anxiety
Anxiety, on the other hand, is characterized by persistent worry and fear about future uncertainties. While a normal human emotion, I often see it become debilitating, leading to insomnia, panic attacks, and a pervasive sense of dread. Unlike the outward energy of anger, anxiety often leads to inward paralysis.
Lament as a Therapeutic Practice
Lament offers a therapeutic alternative to the cycles of anger and anxiety, transforming these intense emotions into a constructive and healing process.
In my practice as a clinician, I make space by allowing my clients to vocalizing sorrow and grief through lament, though they often don’t realize it. This acknowledgment is crucial for emotional health, as it prevents feelings from festering and manifesting as anger or anxiety. Often, my clients will feel that all they did in my session was complain, but when we in community with even one other other person we are able to vocalize our sorrows and grief, and the other person can listen actively, the simple act of being heard can be all we need to alleviate pressure.
Structured Release
For some in our world and especially, here in America, some are experiencing profound loss in a variety of ways. The fires out West, the Hurricanes in the South and a new President who seems to want to unravel decades of social progress are all topics that invade my news feeds. Many are mourning. A mourner experiences loneliness.
Lament offers structure to dealing with loss and difficult change. The structured nature of lament provides a safe space for emotional release. Unlike the raw and often chaotic expressions of anger or anxiety, lament guides individuals through their pain in a controlled manner, promoting clarity and understanding.
As noted in my post and in the My Jewish Learning post, lament is best practiced in community. In community, we can share together feelings of isolation that come with anger and anxiety and in return receive feelings of support and solidarity. Hope is fostered as we continue connect and engage with our community. When we practice hope as a spiritual practice we cultivate three attitudes:
Patience – patience is simply the ability to tolerate others or delays. One of the greatest mindfulness practices centers around our lack of patience. Suffering simply comes from our desires. In the case of the inability to tolerate others, one must ask “why do I see myself differently than this person I am impatient with? Why do I see myself as better?”
Courage – an attitude of trust and confidence when facing the unknown.
Persistence – the determination to keep going no matter what happens. We practice hope when we can say all will be well, and we mean it. It is to be noted that this idea of persistence is not stubbornness, it is deeper than this, it is grit, it is the stick-to-it-ness that breeds discipline and success.
Practical Steps to Incorporate Lament
Incorporating lament into one’s emotional toolkit can be a transformative process. Here are some practical steps to practice lament:
- Create a Safe Space
Find a quiet and comfortable place where you feel safe to express your emotions without judgment.
- Write or Speak Your Lament
Whether through journaling or vocal expression, articulate your sorrow, grievances, and pleas. Follow the structure of invocation, complaint, petition, expression of trust, and praise.
- Engage in Communal Lament
Join a support group or community (ideally a church that shares your faith leanings) where lament is practiced collectively. Sharing your lament with others can enhance the healing process.
- Reflect and Meditate
After expressing your lament, spend time in reflection and meditation. Allow yourself to process the emotions and insights that arise.
- Seek Professional Guidance
If your anger or anxiety is overwhelming, consider seeking guidance from a therapist or counselor who can help you incorporate lament into your emotional healing journey.
To close, the world is pretty yucky right now and it probably is going to be this way for a while. Wishing for things to go back to the way they were is not going to make anyone feel better. Lament is an active process, and change happens when we take an active role in dealing with our suffering.
Lament as a practice leads to a renewed sense of hope and trust in God. The process of lamenting allows believers to process their emotions and realign their focus on God’s promises. In Psalm 42, the psalmist begins with a deep sense of longing and despair but concludes with hope: “Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why the unease within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him, my Savior and my God” (Psalm 42:11).
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